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29th-Apr-2006 11:12 pm - lol
Glider, Hacking, Hack

Silly Celebrity Quotes

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, The Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
~Charles Barkley



"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
~Paula Poundstone



"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~Drew Carey



"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
~Jeff Foxworthy



"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
~Jack Nicholson



"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
~Robin Williams



Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"
~Unknown



"I really enjoy traveling to overseas countries a lot....like Canada!"
~Brittney Spears (from the US)
(submitted by Sally)
29th-Apr-2006 10:26 pm - Disorder in the Court
Glider, Hacking, Hack
Disorder in the Court

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: Were you present at the time your picture was taken?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
29th-Apr-2006 05:44 pm(no subject)
Glider, Hacking, Hack
I <3 Calvin
1st-Apr-2006 02:51 pm - thank you google romance
Glider, Hacking, Hack
ROFLMAO...so google added a new type of search...the uniqueness of this one is that its for soulmates!

link here (www.google.com/romance) <--- that one is going in my favorites
1st-Apr-2006 02:39 pm - so true...
Glider, Hacking, Hack
roflmao
30th-Mar-2006 01:55 pm - i think this is true
Glider, Hacking, Hack
Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love
26th-Mar-2006 11:20 pm - The DPRK
Glider, Hacking, Hack
The DPRK or Democratic People's Republic of Korea [a.k.a. North Korea]

Isn't that amazing how they manage to include all that in one name...its democratic...a republic...communist...AND really a dictatorship. thats...thats fucking amazing. props to whomever thought that one up. now if they could just get capitalism in there....
22nd-Feb-2006 07:25 pm(no subject)
Glider, Hacking, Hack
Feliz Cumpleanos Kirsty!
18th-Feb-2006 11:04 pm(no subject)
Glider, Hacking, Hack
art )

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